A Whale of an Argument

Author: DireNecessity

Original post: https://casualevedotcom.wordpress.com/2014/11/12/a-whale-of-an-argument/

Entry for the YC116 Pod and Planet Fiction Contest in the Other Thing Just Make You Swear and Curse category.

Scrawled on rumpled note: Wrangled up an Orca. Favorite Haunt Bar & Bistro, 9:00 PM. Find Chella Ranier. Intimidating brunette. Can’t miss her.

SoTragic enters the establishment, spies his contact leaning in shadow at the far end of the bar, whispers: Intimidating indeed.

/>>><<<

SoTragic, extending right hand drink: I’m told we have business to conduct.

Chella Ranier, accepting drink, sliding contract down bar with other hand: Yes we do.

SoTragic, approving contract with DNA thumbprint: So completes the transaction.

Chella Ranier, jiggling ice in drink: You’re not going to inspect the merchandise?

SoTragic, sipping left hand drink, returns unexamined contract: Carting out to Rens 6-8 in person displays good faith on your part. Only reasonable I reciprocate by accepting the contract proffered. Where be the brokers of this terribly important exchange?

Chella Ranier, sipping her drink: There, window table, still picking at dessert and haggling detail.

SoTragic: Perky looking duo. Shall we eavesdrop?

Chella Ranier: Let’s.

/>>><<<

DireNecessity, shaking finger scoldingly: You’ll sell me the Orca at market value plus unreasonable mark-up and you’ll feel smug about it because that’s what civilized capitalists do.

Sugar Kyle, squinting crossly: Watch who you brand ‘civilized’ Hi-Seccer.

DireNecessity: While I resemble that label, know that I have murdered pilots for less flippancy.

<<<

Chella Ranier: Appears haggle has escalated, I hear murder talk.

SoTragic: Shall we intervene?

Chella Ranier: Let’s.

<<<

Chella Ranier, approaching table, places the contract before Sugar Kyle while SoTragic, standing on the other side, rests a loyal no drink hand on DireNecessity’s shoulder.

DireNecessity: Pater! I see you’ve met Chella. Allow me to introduce Sugar Kyle, lowsec pirate, interstellar politician, former Orca owner. Sugar Kyle, I present SoTragic, gray haired family patriarch, logistics wizard, Orca pilot.

Sugar Kyle nods greeting to SoTragic, pushes contract across table: Dire, as you can see the sale is complete. Market value 700 million plus .01 ISK markup.

DireNecessity: That’s definitely an unreasonable markup. So we’re literally arguing over a penny?

Sugar Kyle: Yes Dire, yes we are. While we can stipulate the contract include ‘unreasonable markup’, you alone don’t get to define what the term means.

<<<

SoTragic, early next day, watching DireNecessity nurse morning coffee: Don’t you look chipper.

DireNecessity, smiling impishly: Just slipped an extra 100 mill directly into Sugar’s wallet.

SoTragic: Well you showed her.

DireNecessity: I certainly did. No one unreasonably undercharges me.

<<<

Chella Ranier, that afternoon, departing Rens: New boat?

Sugar Kyle: Phobos. Full fit.

Chella Ranier: Has he a name?

Sugar Kyle, smirking: Dire’s Conceit.