Gallente Gossip broadcast - 03/30/2018

Author: Donkyhotay

Original post: https://forums.eveonline.com/t/gallente-gossip-broadcast-03-30-2018/66880

Entry for YC120 New Eden Capsuleer’s Writing Contest in the Academic/News category.

Welcome to Gallente Gossip, on this special live broadcast we’ll be taking an inside look at capsuleers. Powerful, wealthy, immortal, many dream of becoming one but is the price too high? Is it true as the Amarr religion claims that becoming a capsuleer requires giving up your very soul? In this very special episode we’ll reveal the secrets previously known only to these elite.

Even without taking Amarr superstition into account, it is well documented that conversion to capsuleer causes drastic changes to a persons mood and behavior. Looking into possible reasons for these changes in capsuleers we came upon mention of a study done by Professor Singh of the University of Caille that indicates it’s nothing physical that changes caspuleers, but the power of the position itself. That, according to the report, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. Unfortunately we were unable to find the original contents of the study and when we attempted to contact for Professor Singh directly he only had this to say:

“That was a crackpot theory I confess I wrote down while under the influence of boosters. I never did an actual study proving anything. All people in positions of power are perfectly normal and well-adjusted citizens who would never abuse their authority in any way ever.”

We did attempt to get a full interview from Professor Singh but he declined stating he was much too busy due to the recent kidnapping of his granddaughter. Our hearts go out to him during this tragic event and hope she is returned soon.

A common theory, commonly repeated by the less educated, is that the cybernetic implants used change the capsuleers brain chemistry. This is despite the massive amount of evidence to the contrary over the years from many respected scientists. There is too much for us to go into in the short time allowed for this program but you can review for yourself the most accurate and relevant information available on the safety of cloning technology on the datanet site for Cromeaux Inc. a wholly owned subsidiary of Duvolle Laboratories.

And now a word from our sponser, Duvolle Laboratories.

And welcome back to Gallente Gossip. So far we’ve been disproving theories about capsuleers. We’ve shown it’s neither the technology nor the position of power capsuleers enjoy that makes them seem different from the rest of us. This would hint that maybe the Ammar religion has some kernel of truth to it. That the loss of a soul, something that can’t be proven or measured, causes changes. If you were watching a news organization that was either more biased or less thorough that is probably the answer they would give you. But here at Gallente Gossip we get to the heart of the issues we investigate and you’re not watching this to see what capsuleers aren’t like, you want to know what they are like. What makes them tick.

We tried requesting an interview with some capsuleers but the only responses we got from them were “LOL no” and an offer to double our isk. Undaunted we scoured the public communications of capsuleers on the datanet. While much of the information was irrelevant, some details of what they discussed shed an interesting light on their thought processes. It was quickly evident that most of their actions are focused on fun and collecting isk, and collecting isk is usually to fund their fun. Disturbingly it appears capsuleers enjoy the battles and wars they frequently participate in. Most of them don’t even seem aware that baseliners even exist despite the large amount of crew that serve on their ships and space stations.

However almost none of the information we gleaned from their communications indicated why this is the case. Fortunately while listening we learned about caspuleers infomorphs which shed some light on the subject. Infomorphs are not well known about, but our contacts at Cromeaux Inc. confirmed what we suspected, that capsuleers are capable of transferring their consciousness between multiple clones and that the consciousness itself is what they refer to as an infomorph. Cromeuax was quick to state that the capsuleer technology only allows a single informorph to ‘jump’ to a single clone at a time.

However we ran across a fascinating tale spreading through the capsuleers that an informorph, the notorious gigX’s, had survived on the datanet as a disembodied consciousness after being executed. It was obvious listening to the capsuleers communications with each other that none of the even questioned whether such a thing was possible, only what, if anything, should be done about it. This raises the fascinating possibility that capsuleers don’t even think of themselves as human, but that they simply think of themselves as consciousness with little sense of self and even their physical bodies being nothing more then a way to control their ships.

Following their communications more closely we found strong evidence that many of the capsuleers infomorphs are ‘split’ and in control of multiple clones at once. An insider from Poteque Pharmaceuticals, who wishes to remain anonymous, told us that the technology behind ‘omega’ clones fully support this and that CONCORD is not only aware of it but approves and encourages this. If this is true, it would mean that capsuleers aren’t even really clones, their sense of self is their infomorph which all live disembodied, controlling their clones, but not living in them. This would explain why they don’t seem to think or behave like normal humans and are, in practical terms, alien.

We also saw messages indicating many capsuleeers are concerned about some of their kind are actually AI’s. That supposedly many clones are controlled by ‘bots’ without even a hint of human consciousness in the clones infomorph. No capsuleer ever admitted it, from the messages it appears CONCORD biomasses capsuleers who are controlled by ‘bots’, however many capsuleers accuse others of their kind of being one. My personal belief is that these may stem from rogue drones that have infiltrated the datanet but there was not even a rumor as to their source. Regardless, if the truth that capsuleers truly live as infomorphs rather then clones, it’s not a far stretch to think that an AI could then inhabit a clone.

Oh, hold on… I’m getting a message from… Uh huh… what? Yes… I understand…

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry to announce that we have been completely misled by our sources. I’ve been told we now have incontrovertible evidence that all capsuleers are completely human and while they can transfer their consciousness they are unable to split them or survive disembodied. Because we value our integrity as reporters so much we will not be continuing with our regular report and humbly apologize for potentially misleading any of our viewers. For the remainder of our scheduled time we’ll instead be reporting on the recent kidnapping of Kyra Scouz, the daughter of our head producer, who was apparently abducted from her home just minutes ago…