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Crash

Author: Korsavius

Original post: https://backstage.eve-inspiracy.com/index.php?topic=6262.msg105217

Entry for the YC116 Pod and Planet Fiction Contest in the Eight Thousand Suns in New Eden category.

Hey you.

Yeah, you.

You wanna hear a neat story I heard from a friend of mine?

No? Well, too bad! I mean we are sitting here on this bench waiting for the next shuttle to arrive. Might as well tell a good story to pass the time, right?

Glad you finally came to your senses. Anyway, the story goes a little something like this…

Gatti Jofdlar was a Minmatar thug who operated on the streets of some backwater Federation planet. He is a fellow who committed all sorts of crimes during his lifetime. Growing up, he went to an alternative school for troubled kids, and he even got jail time for distributing drugs at his original school! Once he was a fully grown adult, he made a habit of doing small petty crimes to get by. A theft here, some drug distribution there, anything required to make a decent living for himself. He dealt with all sorts of drugs, but his particular favorite was crash, the highly addictive booster we all know and love. And he was pretty damn good at it, too.

Svestlia Potere was once a popular and loved theater actress and singer. At the height of her career, she began to use her seemingly unlimited source of wealth to fund a newly found drug addiction. She started small at first, but then progressed more into the “heavy” stuff. Rumors have it a close associate who persuaded her to upgrade her drug usage was actually a Serpentis distributor. Anyway, news of her addiction soon surfaced on holoscreens and tabloids everywhere, and she rapidly fell from fame. She moved to a cheap Federation backwater planet so she could spend the majority of her remaining amounts of wealth on her drug addiction.

Wait a second…the shuttles are delayed?! Ugh! Crappy InterBus transportation services! How can a little rain cause a delay in their schedules? I knew I shoulda went with a private transport company. Anyway, I guess it ain’t too bad, right? I mean that gives me more time to finish this here story. Continuing…

Hoteru Oniksami was once a loyal Caldari State citizen. For reasons unknown, he chose to defect from his parent corporation, and became a freelancer. He roamed the cluster offering services as a mercenary, and occasionally distributing various illegal products along the way. After recently completing a lucrative mercenary contract, Oniksami found himself in possession of several crates loaded with illegal boosters. What better place to sell drugs than the most hedonistic of empires, right? So, he hopped in his starship and sped towards the Federation to distribute the goods for a handsome profit. Maybe he’d even indulge in the fine exotic dancers the Federation has to offer once he sold the goods.

Kohmer Ahtila was an interesting fellow from the Amarr Empire. He decided to travel the cluster in search of willing followers for a new faith he was creating. Mr. Ahtila did not believe in the faith of the Amarr, so he sought to spread his revolutionary teachings throughout the Empire. Unfortunately for him, the Ministry of Internal Order was quickly on his case, and promptly ousted him from within Empire borders. Dismayed at his home nation’s unwillingness to see the light, Mr. Ahtila traveled to a Federation backwater planet to collect his thoughts.

Now at this point you may be asking yourself what do four random strangers from four different nations have to do with each other. Well, here comes the interesting part!

One day, their lives would become forever intertwined. On this particular day, Jofdlar successfully pulled off a small but profitable robbery from a jewelry store. He managed to flee the scene before local authorities could even arrive, and promptly sped through the city to deposit the goods at his hideout beyond the city. Miss Potere was out and about cruising the outskirts of the city higher than a gas giant orbital facility. She just so happened to be high on the illegal booster crash, and Jofdlar just so happened to be Miss Potere’s supplier of crash. Oniksami was also traveling in the area. As a matter of fact, his vehicle was loaded with crates of crash which he planned to sell to no one other than Gatti Jofdlar. It turns out that Jofdlar robbed the jewelry store to pay for the shipment of boosters he was going to purchase from Oniksami later that day! Now what of Mr. Ahtila you might ask? Well, he was just sitting outside of a café pondering the greater meaning of life.

So there you have it. The stage is set. Oniksami is waiting at an intersection patiently. Mr. Ahtila looks at the waiting vehicles with a contemplative expression on his face as he sips some coffee. Meanwhile, Miss Potere and Jofdlar are speeding toward the same intersection on adjacent streets. As the signal commands the waiting Oniksami to press forward, it happens. Jofdlar’s land vehicle crashes into Potere’s fancy convertible hovercar. The angle at which he strikes her hovercar causes the windowpane to shatter which litters his body with broken glass; he spins out and crashes into a streetlight on his side which crushes him to death instantly. Meanwhile, Miss Potere’s hovercar loses control as well, and she ends up crashing directly into Oniksami’s transport vehicle. The impact causes Potere to be ejected from her seat and thrown like a ragdoll a good distance off; she was killed instantly. Several pieces of metal are lodged into Oniksami’s body, which eventually cause him to bleed out to death. The crash is utterly horrible to watch. It is also ironic, if you know the story behind those involved.

And there you go! That is the story my friend told me while we were at a local bar last weekend. It’s crazy to think how something like this coulda happened, right? I mean, gosh. Of course, I don’t know if this story is true, but I don’t see why my friend would lie to me! Oh, what happened to Mr. Ahtila you ask? Right.

Mr. Ahtila saw the whole thing unfold before his very eyes. He rushed off his seat to go help, but it was clear to him that no one involved survived the crash. He did find the crates Oniksami was transporting, however. His eyes widened when he discovered the contents of these crates. Mr. Ahtila, rather low on funds, decided to haul a crate off for himself; he decided this was a divine act of his God, and he would use the illegal boosters to fund the creation of a magnificent new church. Apparently Mr. Ahtila went on to found a new church which supposedly has quite a good following these days. Rumor has it he delivers very impassioned and…drug-induced sermons.

Ah, finally the InterBus shuttle is here! Oh, you’re not getting on this one? Well, damn. I had another story I wanted to tell you on the trip to Caille. Anyway, it was nice meeting you. I guess you can say the moral of the story is... crash is a helluva drug! Take care.