Jimmy Jammer's Genius Jumpdrives

Author: Leta Lilitu

Original post: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rRjcaU2tH4lI14WpQe6527D8G_G6THpZ4Pagzr6nwms/edit

Entry for the YC115 Pod and Planet Contest in the Other Thing Just Make You Swear and Curse category.

Jimmy sat back and took in the view as his shuttle’s avionics control was taken over by the station’s Near Space Traffic Management program.

The view was fantastic, with heaps of traffic around the trade hub. A small but significant percentage of that was thanks to the spaceship manufacturer’s convention Jimmy was there for.
He ignored his camera drones, focusing instead on a detailed report he had called up in his mental space.
It detailed the precise location and severity of the manufacturing flaws in a new batch of jump drive control systems. It also outlined the company’s plans to go on with selling the drives, despite the invisible weaknesses in a crucial support bracket that held various parts of the thing together. Apparently the flaw was so severe, just yanking on it hard would snap it right off. The company couldn’t afford to reprocess them and start again. The losses involved and inefficiencies in their manufacturing design meant that they would lose a crippling amount of money. They needed to move their stock or go bust.
Obviously, the report was intended for internal review only. But Jimmy knew a guy.

So here he was, in the station, at the convention. His pocket was full of business cards, but the name was wrong. His digital identity had been spoofed as well. Even his little lapel tag said “HI, MY NAME IS: Steven!”
He made his way to the center of the poorly designed hall. The hard walls garbled everything and made people yell at each other from a meter away, just to get enough signal-to-noise to understand what the other guy was saying. Not a particularly good look when you are trying to flog your spacecraft components.
In pride of place was the jump drive section, a key component of spaceships since they were essential for ships to duck out of trouble, and generally haul ass safely home from the cold voids of space.
True to the marketing plan he’d received from his contact, there was an actual model of the control system, since the company was trying to offload them all and wink out of existence before the fault could be found.
The poor sap up on stage was really overheating all his racks. His voice boomed out across the floor. Everyone in the hall was watching him, from small time capsuleers who were looking to fly the ships they made themselves, up to sleek organised shoals of corporate negotiators. Jimmy could always pick out the corp boys, thanks to specially formulated pattern recognition software he’d had installed in his monocle.
Yep, basically all the competition for these control systems, so central to the construction of starships, was here watching the show. Jimmy was pleased. He intended to buy every single one.

With casual grace, Jim hopped up onto the stage. The demo system was on a raised pedestal, and measured about a meter cubed. Tiny considering its importance.
The loudmouth finally shut up and span around, with eyes bugging out and moustache twitching. Jim could see the truth of the confidential report in the sweat sheen of his flaccid face.
Absolutely no noise snuck in to fill the yawning silence. All the other salespeople were watching with interest. Every eye was upon him.

Jimmy found the bracket he was looking for, and placed his hands just so. Then he squared his shoulders and braced his feet. The twang when he snapped it reverberated around for two very loud heartbeats. Then as one, the crowd erupted into a roar of shouts, laughter, and jeers. People started wandering back to their business, some laughing heartily and others, mostly quality managers, shaking their heads in disgust. That module needed to survive the rigours of interstellar battles, warping, jumping, and some ridiculous Newtonic acceleration forces.

Jimmy stood there grinning from ear to ear, the snapped off chunk hanging limply in his hand, as the defeated spruiker stalked up to him, his face absolutely pink and getting darker quickly. You could almost see steam rising off his jacket, he was that mad. At least he had enough self control not to create a scene, that wouldn’t work into Jimmy’s favour.
Through gritted teeth he spat “Would you like to explain what you did and how you are going to fix this?”
“Oops.”
“You’ve ruined me! No one is going to buy from me ever again!”
Jimmy put a brotherly arm across the mans shoulders, leading him behind the stage to one of the highly secure negotiation rooms provided for the event.
“Relax, buddy, I’ll pay for the damages. And hey, things aren’t all that bad! I’m still interested.”
Jimmy’s monocle captured in high speed the fleeting expressions on the man’s face.
First the incumbent shame, embarrassment and worry were wiped out as shock exploded over, quickly followed by a divine relief. Suddenly, the man’s game face flickered on as he realised it was negotiation time. Finally, the worry creeped back over and settled down as he figured out just what his bargaining position was.

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Later, much later, a different looking Jimmy was in a completely different region, at a similar convention. This time, however, he was using his ‘real’ name, and the guy up on stage blasting onlookers with the stats of Jimmy’s Genius Jump Drives was his.