The Night Before Christmas: A Wormhole Carol

Author: Ig Asho

Original post: https://forums-archive.eveonline.com/message/3854608#post3854608

Entry for the YC115 Pod and Planet Fiction Contest in the Other Thing Just Make You Swear and Curse category.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the wormhole

Not a capsuleer was stirring, not one in any role;

The rorqual was tucked in the POS with care,

In hopes that the Orca would soon be there;

The t3's were nestled all snug in their array,

The sleeper AI had not bested them this day;

And CEO in his monocle, and I in my goggle,

Closed an uneventful day, not even a squabble,

When outside the shields a Legion appeared,

Was he alone, does he have friends, my heart started to fear.

I pulled up the intel channel in a flash,

In hopes that someone had seen the fleet fly past.

The reflection shone bright off moon eight,

Making me wonder perhaps this legion is bait,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But the rest of their fleet... I needed a beer.

The fleet of one began to swell,

I knew in a moment it must be PL.

More rapid than eagles the reinforcements they came,

I logged onto Teamspeak and called the ship types out by name;

"2 Legions! 4 Tengu's! 3 Tempests and Domi's!

A comet! 2 Apcos! 4 Ravens and Harby's!"

From 100k out to the top of the shield!

There was no way we could clear the field!

As scared frigates that before AC hurricanes fly,

Jump into a gatecamp and align planet five,

So lock onto our tower the invaders they did,

Our POS they wanted taken off of the grid.

And then in an instant I saw my mail blink,

99% shields and soon to be extinct.

As I shook my head and feared all was lost,

Their FC convo'd me and said "We'll leave for a cost".

His portrait made him seem an honest fellow,

But hit -10 standing made my legs turn to jell-o.

He knew that he had me! My fear he could sense!

I knew that his ransom price would be immense!

He twisted his words to make it seem a bargain,

His price he finally offered beneath all his jargon.

Five billion he asked for without skipping a beat,

A ransom that high we simply could not meet.

The siege continued, our shields slowly dropping,

I feared to soon hear our beloved POS popping.

I roused all the directors from their bed,

And gravely informed them that we may soon be dead.

Our pilots all bravely decided to fight,

Band together as brothers for one final flight,

We would mount one charge, to save our home,

To do that we must leave the safety of this dome.

Our leader delayed not, and went straight work,

We fleeted up, ready to annihilate this jerk,

With our fingers on F1 we burned for the Legion,

If we could kill him we could still rule this region,

Teamspeak erupted in charges and shout,

But our ships they soon began to blot out.

My corpmates all dead, my Hawk resolute,

PL in local gave us one final salute.

But I heard them exclaim, ere they flew out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, we'll let you live one more night."