The People of New Eden

Author: Sheave Yens Nor

Original post: https://forums-archive.eveonline.com/topic/291155

Entry for the YC115 Pod and Planet Contest in the Other Thing Just Make You Swear and Curse category.

Amarrian Captains, they place with care,
volleys of laser fire, both of pulse and of beam,
When looking for slaves they’ll go anywhere
But for Matari they’re particularly keen.

The Minmatar Captains are blessed (or cursed)
With ships that are extraordinarily fleet,
Though with all the duct tape they must be nursed,
So a victory will be both bitter and sweet.

The Caldari Captains work for the state,
Through megacorps that are both rich and powerful,
Don’t mention Tibus Heth (they’ll get irate)
And point their blaster cannons right at your capsule.

The Gallente Captains, they love their drones,
Little angels of death flittering here and there,
The captain who warps off without them groans,
When he or she finds the local market is bare.

The Angel Cartel pirates live in Curse,
Where they avail themselves of all kinds of mischief,
As far as pirates go, they could be worse,
At least to them your clone’s blood isn’t a foodstuff!

The Blood Raider pirates, now they love blood,
They think it's delicious and makes them immortal,
If you’re approaching gate and hear a thud,
Pray you don’t see that bright blood red flag and white skull.

The Serpentis pirates are drug runners,
They’ll have any and all boosters you want in store,
They use gas clouds to make tranquillisers,
Blue pill, Sooth Sayer, Drop, Mindflood and many more.

The Guristas pirates are colorful,
Started by two Caldari, Fatal and Rabbit,
Though their logo is cute, they’re not docile,
Their well placed missiles can cause you much discomfit.

Sansha’s Nation, now they are all zombies,
Created and controlled by Kuvakei himself,
They’re cruel and they’re harsh (just like space Nazis),
So when flying around Stain look after yourself.

Now, last, but far from least, we have Concord,
They’re the policemen, the coppers, of New Eden,
Many a brave capsuleer has deplored,
The swift and mighty justice of CONCORDOKKEN!!

Filled with people is this place, New Eden,
Some are good and some evil, but to you I swear,
It’s all of our duties to enlighten,
The misguided soul known as the high sec carebear!